1 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:27,392 It's... 2 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:05,030 Chris, would you like to read your personal essay? 3 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,598 Okay, Mrs. Donovan. 4 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,902 "Following Mrs. Donovan" by Chris Griffin. 5 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:14,906 "The first thing that Mrs. Donovan does when she gets home from school 6 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:16,374 "is put on sweatpants. 7 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,688 "Then she eats a whole tube of cookie dough, 8 00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,356 "but she must be allergic to it 9 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,525 "because there are tears coming out of her eyes 10 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:24,560 "and she always throws up right after. 11 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:28,086 "Then she puts paper doll clothes on a picture of a sonogram." 12 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:29,435 Chris, I think you should stop. 13 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:31,500 What? I'm doing the best I can. 14 00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:33,424 I'm not Nathaniel Hawthorne. 15 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,329 Nathaniel, what are you doing? 16 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,481 Just ruining ninth grade for everyone. 17 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,881 Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, I called you in today 18 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,482 because your son, Chris, has been 19 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,085 getting in quite a bit of trouble lately. 20 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:51,176 In fact, just yesterday, he tried to pass this drawing off 21 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,896 as his Advanced Art project. 22 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,046 Oh, my. 23 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,130 I'm very embarrassed. 24 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,632 Well, someone should be. 25 00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,902 I'm sorry, Principal Shepherd. We've tried talking to Chris. 26 00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:02,571 We just don't know what else to do. 27 00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:04,717 Well, I think we may have a solution. 28 00:02:04,741 --> 00:02:07,787 We have these cats that hang around the school, and we feed them. 29 00:02:07,811 --> 00:02:11,213 Why doesn't Chris come in, and we can treat him like one of the cats? 30 00:02:11,281 --> 00:02:13,526 Then, in a couple of years, we'll give him a diploma. 31 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,995 That doesn't sound like he'll be getting the best education. 32 00:02:16,019 --> 00:02:17,218 I don't know, Lois. 33 00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:19,538 Some of those cats go on to get pretty good jobs. 34 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:22,835 Yep. 35 00:02:26,096 --> 00:02:28,496 We now return to Breaking Bad. 36 00:02:30,266 --> 00:02:33,702 You will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone you know. 37 00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:37,005 I will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone I know. 38 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,774 Breaking Bad is the best show you've ever seen, 39 00:02:39,843 --> 00:02:41,509 except maybe The Wire. 40 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,212 Breaking Bad is the best show I've ever seen, 41 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,914 except maybe The Wire. 42 00:02:45,983 --> 00:02:49,684 You will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or The Wire. 43 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:54,038 I will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or The Wire. 44 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,885 Peter, I'm really worried about Chris. 45 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,654 What are we gonna do about him? 46 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,578 Let's face it, Lois, the kid's an idiot. 47 00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:02,091 What the hell happened to all the smart genes in this family? 48 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,250 I mean, I invent the razor blade comb, and my kids are doing nothing. 49 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,862 I mean, when Chris grows up, 50 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:09,732 will he even be able to get a job or take care of himself? 51 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,840 And what's he gonna do when we die? 52 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,328 ♪ Ouga chaka ouga ouga... 53 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,564 ♪ I can't stop this feeling 54 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:23,735 ♪ Deep inside of me ♪ 55 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,353 I feel awful saying it, 56 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,956 but I'm kind of embarrassed by him sometimes. 57 00:03:28,025 --> 00:03:29,791 I know, and he's got boobs, too. 58 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:31,426 Stupid guy with boobs. 59 00:03:31,494 --> 00:03:34,529 Acting like he doesn't want us to look. He wants us to look. 60 00:03:34,597 --> 00:03:36,865 Stop making fun of me! 61 00:03:36,934 --> 00:03:39,267 I just wanted to listen to you guys have sex, 62 00:03:39,336 --> 00:03:41,936 but you were saying mean things about me. 63 00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:45,757 Chris! Oh, my God. No, we weren't talking about you. 64 00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:47,404 Yeah, we were talking about Meg. 65 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,971 We call her Chris so she doesn't know. 66 00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:50,907 Fuck you! Shut up, Chris! 67 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:54,532 I know that's not true. 68 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:55,801 Oh, God. 69 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:58,882 Peter, he heard us call him stupid. His own parents. 70 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,371 What have we done? 71 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,586 Well, you know, Lois, it's never easy hearing the truth. 72 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,392 Especially from a fortune cookie. 73 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,881 What does it say, Peter? 74 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,449 Just something about perseverance. 75 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:12,784 What does yours say? 76 00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,812 It says I'm very creative. 77 00:04:22,979 --> 00:04:25,859 Oh, by the way, there's a baby in my preschool with HIV, 78 00:04:25,883 --> 00:04:29,367 and my teacher gave you something to sign to get him kicked out. 79 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:35,607 Hey, Chris! There's my big, smart son. My special guy, my Chrissy. 80 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,237 Sounds like someone got her vibrator working again. 81 00:04:38,261 --> 00:04:41,896 Oh, look out, everyone. Double-digit IQ joining the table. 82 00:04:41,965 --> 00:04:44,032 Hey, smarty, think fast. Ah! 83 00:04:44,101 --> 00:04:47,102 He knows. He knows it's hot. 'Cause he's smart. 84 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,971 I don't want to talk to you guys. You called me an idiot. 85 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,321 Oh, Chris, you must have just misheard us. 86 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,076 I was standing right there. How is that possible? 87 00:04:55,145 --> 00:04:56,856 'Cause you're an idiot, that's how. Peter! 88 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,813 I'm going to school! 89 00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:00,949 It's Sunday, right? 90 00:05:01,018 --> 00:05:03,663 Peter, we've completely destroyed his self-esteem. 91 00:05:03,687 --> 00:05:05,454 We've got to do something. 92 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,400 You know, Lois, if Chris is having confidence issues, 93 00:05:07,424 --> 00:05:08,935 they have camps for kids like him. 94 00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:10,092 What do you mean? 95 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,172 Well, they take kids who struggle in school 96 00:05:12,196 --> 00:05:14,840 and help them gain self-confidence in a nurturing environment. 97 00:05:14,864 --> 00:05:16,948 Wow. That's actually a great idea. 98 00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:18,328 We don't got no money for camp. 99 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,629 We're saving up to go to Europe. 100 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,387 Peter, we went to Europe. You didn't like it. 101 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,606 Oh, my God, it's beautiful. My TV isn't here. Let's go home. 102 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:32,380 We now return to Canadian Horror Story. 103 00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:34,060 Hey, hon, we're out of Molson. 104 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,918 Oh, not to worry. We've got some Labatt's in the garage. 105 00:05:36,987 --> 00:05:38,687 And could you get one for the ghost? 106 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,388 Boo, eh? 107 00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:42,557 Hey, Chris, could we talk to you? 108 00:05:42,626 --> 00:05:45,443 If you're gonna insult me again, just go away. 109 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,844 Look, honey, we're sorry, 110 00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,791 and we want to do something special for you. 111 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:51,461 This is a Hamilton Beach blender we got on our wedding day. 112 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,096 It keeps coming back to us in a vicious re-gifting cycle. 113 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,320 No, Peter. 114 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,067 Chris, we were thinking of sending you to camp. 115 00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:59,891 And we're going to let you choose which one. 116 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,893 This one's called Camp Helmet. 117 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:04,596 This one's called Camp Sit 'N' Stay. 118 00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:06,598 These camps don't sound fun at all. 119 00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,812 Well, Chris, camp is only as fun as you make it. 120 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:12,020 That's how it was in World War II. 121 00:06:12,088 --> 00:06:14,801 Don't suppose it would help to say I have a note from my doctor. 122 00:06:14,825 --> 00:06:16,457 Get in there, you. 123 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,177 Hey, this one looks cool. Space Camp. 124 00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:22,814 "Spend a week doing intensive math and science, 125 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,332 "learning from real astronauts." 126 00:06:24,401 --> 00:06:25,633 Space Camp? 127 00:06:25,702 --> 00:06:26,734 I'm sorry, 128 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,013 that one must have accidentally 129 00:06:28,037 --> 00:06:29,282 gotten in with the rest of them. 130 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,606 What are you saying? That I'm too stupid for it? 131 00:06:31,675 --> 00:06:32,874 Chris, we're over here. 132 00:06:32,942 --> 00:06:35,343 What are you saying? That I'm too stupid for it? 133 00:06:35,412 --> 00:06:37,395 No, no, of course not. 134 00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:39,631 Then this is the camp I choose. 135 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,939 Yay! I get to go to Space Camp! 136 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:45,937 Thanks, Mom and Dad. You guys are the best parents ever! 137 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,156 Would you excuse me a moment? 138 00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:51,559 These are mine now. 139 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,228 Hey! 140 00:06:53,296 --> 00:06:56,231 Oh, honey, when we accepted those mugs, we knew this could happen. 141 00:07:03,707 --> 00:07:05,685 You know, Chris, it's not too late 142 00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:07,620 to change your mind about Space Camp. 143 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:10,556 Sometimes it can be tough to fit in with a new group of people. 144 00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:13,598 Yeah, I sure had my troubles when I got involved with the Boy Scouts. 145 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:17,485 At no time were the campers and Mr. Griffin naked simultaneously. 146 00:07:17,554 --> 00:07:19,465 They merely engaged in horseplay. 147 00:07:19,489 --> 00:07:21,689 Did Mr. Griffin sodomize the boys? 148 00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:25,811 Mr. Griffin vehemently denies all allegations. 149 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:29,014 Mom, I can handle Space Camp. I'm not stupid. 150 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,526 Well, regardless, on the way back, 151 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,896 we're stopping at that Down syndrome camp we passed. 152 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,086 Peter, that was the University of Florida. 153 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,160 Welcome to Space Camp. 154 00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:44,713 Hi. We're here to register our son, Chris Griffin. 155 00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,492 Oh, great to meet you, Chris. 156 00:07:46,516 --> 00:07:49,484 Hey, this kid means the world to me. Keep an eye on him, huh? 157 00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:52,982 Hey, what's that? I thought all the space shuttles 158 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,205 were decommissioned. 159 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,252 Well, we always keep one spacecraft flight-ready 160 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,854 in the event a satellite needs service, 161 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,588 there's a Space Station emergency, 162 00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,946 or an Italian guy needs to over exaggerate. 163 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,549 I swear to God, Johnny, I've had it up to... 164 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,541 here with your BS. 165 00:08:13,610 --> 00:08:15,827 Oh, he's really had it this time. 166 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,162 I'm sorry, Louie! 167 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,880 All right, then. 168 00:08:18,949 --> 00:08:20,514 Hey, what's that in there? 169 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,895 That's a sensory deprivation room that prepares our astronauts 170 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,997 for the terrifying emptiness of space. 171 00:08:25,021 --> 00:08:28,255 Oh, cool. Hey, come on, Brian, try it with me. 172 00:08:31,194 --> 00:08:33,578 Things got crazy so fast. 173 00:08:35,999 --> 00:08:37,065 Bye, Chris. Good luck. 174 00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:38,399 Take care, Chris. 175 00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:40,880 Oh, and hey, if you get sent off on a space mission, um, 176 00:08:40,904 --> 00:08:43,104 don't be the black guy, 'cause you'll die. 177 00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:46,191 I know you're gonna have fun and make lots of good friends. 178 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:49,494 Yeah, and not fake friends, like guys whose wives are friends. 179 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,397 You have to get me that recipe. 180 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:55,266 Oh, my God, the cookbook? It's right in the kitchen. 181 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,469 Sports? No. 182 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,338 Movies? No. 183 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,273 Hiking? No. 184 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,208 Cars? No. 185 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,688 Porn? Yes! Porn? Yes! 186 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,272 Gay porn? No. 187 00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:12,400 Welcome to Space Camp, everyone. 188 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,452 Be sure to grab your physics textbooks. 189 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,923 And you may want to brush up for tomorrow's lecture on orbital dynamics. 190 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,637 Oh, man. I don't belong here, and they know it. 191 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,744 People can always sense a fraud. 192 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,590 Gentlemen, it has come to my attention 193 00:09:24,614 --> 00:09:26,358 that there's a Chinese among us. 194 00:09:26,382 --> 00:09:28,142 Rest assured, he will be found. 195 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,434 Security is launching a full-scale investigation 196 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:33,504 into the genealogy records of every single one of our employees. 197 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:37,075 This man will be found, and there will be dire consequences. 198 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:40,011 Too bad about that Chinese guy, huh? 199 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:45,527 Campers, we are now in our state-of-the-art space shuttle simulator. 200 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,597 Hey, you're a girl. I just figured that out. 201 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,231 By the time you leave Space Camp, 202 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,235 you will all be familiar with every device on board this craft. 203 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,625 What's this button do? 204 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,538 Why don't you go ahead and push it? 205 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,963 That's my band. 206 00:10:01,551 --> 00:10:04,652 Okay, campers, let's see your astronaut haircuts. 207 00:10:04,721 --> 00:10:08,089 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 208 00:10:08,158 --> 00:10:09,824 Chris, that's a Russell Brand haircut. 209 00:10:09,893 --> 00:10:11,370 Boy, I don't know what happened. 210 00:10:11,394 --> 00:10:12,805 I went to me barber at the shop, 211 00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,207 and I come out, I'm looking like this. 212 00:10:14,231 --> 00:10:16,331 You're talking different from how I talk. 213 00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:18,516 Here's a bunch of money to be on TV. 214 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,536 If you all saw Apollo 13, 215 00:10:22,605 --> 00:10:24,383 you know they had to fix an air scrubber 216 00:10:24,407 --> 00:10:26,118 with just the tools in the capsule. 217 00:10:26,142 --> 00:10:29,055 Griffin, I need you to use these tools to fix my marriage. 218 00:10:29,079 --> 00:10:30,294 I can't do that. 219 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,763 Well, I can't be the only one who's trying. 220 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,539 Hello? 221 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,385 Oh, my God, Chris. What's wrong? 222 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:46,310 Mom, I hate it here. I want to come home. 223 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:49,347 All the kids are mean, and I keep messing everything up. 224 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,716 Even Jinx the Robot is picking on me. 225 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,653 Hey, you've got something on your shirt. 226 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:04,162 Joke complete. 227 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:07,465 You and Dad were right. I'm not smart enough to be here. 228 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,501 Can you come get me, please, Mom? 229 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,547 Okay, honey, of course we will. 230 00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,083 Hang on, I got another call. 231 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,590 Hello? 232 00:11:15,658 --> 00:11:19,494 Lois, I'm at the gym. I hate it here. I want to come home. 233 00:11:19,563 --> 00:11:21,162 Everybody's so mean. 234 00:11:21,231 --> 00:11:24,499 And there's this one guy who follows me around and calls me fat. 235 00:11:24,568 --> 00:11:26,212 Well, I suppose I... 236 00:11:26,236 --> 00:11:28,147 Hang on, honey, I'm getting another call. 237 00:11:28,171 --> 00:11:29,704 Hello? 238 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,290 Hey, is fat ass home yet? Put him on, I want to talk to him. 239 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,056 Thanks for coming to get me, you guys. 240 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,247 Hey, no problem. 241 00:11:39,316 --> 00:11:41,483 We spent thousands of dollars to send you here 242 00:11:41,551 --> 00:11:43,784 and made two trips to Florida in four days. 243 00:11:43,853 --> 00:11:45,220 I'm glad we had you. 244 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,654 Well, I'm sorry. 245 00:11:46,723 --> 00:11:48,718 I thought I could handle it here, but I was wrong. 246 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:51,159 That's okay, honey, everyone makes mistakes. 247 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,654 Yeah, remember when the fat man 248 00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:54,190 brought home that cougar chick? 249 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,009 You make yourself comfortable, Beth. I'll be right back. 250 00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,534 Hi, young man. I'm looking for a good time. 251 00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:02,036 Uh-huh. I'm worldly. I'm fun. 252 00:12:02,104 --> 00:12:04,883 This ain't mileage, this is experience. Not interested. 253 00:12:04,907 --> 00:12:07,653 Listen, just so there are no surprises, don't be scared, 254 00:12:07,677 --> 00:12:10,656 my stuff looks like someone spilled an apple pie in my lap. 255 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,346 Yuck. 256 00:12:12,415 --> 00:12:14,182 Didn't you have any fun at all, sweetie? 257 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,895 Well, I guess I did get to go on the space shuttle every day. 258 00:12:16,919 --> 00:12:18,386 Really? No way. 259 00:12:18,455 --> 00:12:20,955 I always wanted to be an astronaut like Lance Armstrong. 260 00:12:21,024 --> 00:12:22,790 It's Neil Armstrong. 261 00:12:22,859 --> 00:12:24,825 He lied about his name, too? 262 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,383 Wow, this is amazing, Chris. 263 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,964 Look at this, Lois, a week ago, we call him stupid, 264 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,228 and now he's giving tours of the space shuttle. 265 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,258 Negative reinforcement, that's the key. Right, stupid? 266 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,760 I'll do better. 267 00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,573 So, do you know how all this stuff works? 268 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,375 Well, I don't know what most of these buttons do, 269 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,000 but I know this big red one is the one you press to launch. 270 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,668 Ooh! Big red button! 271 00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,336 Stewie, no! 272 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:56,957 Uh-oh. 273 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,159 Chris, make it stop. 274 00:12:58,228 --> 00:12:59,344 I'm trying. 275 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,668 I think... I think we're launching. 276 00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:11,388 Oh, my God, everyone strap yourselves in. Stewie, hold my hand. 277 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,952 No, thank you, I prefer to die giving you the finger. 278 00:13:13,976 --> 00:13:16,994 If this is what it takes to get out of Florida, fine. 279 00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:22,311 You know what? You only live once. 280 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,335 I am sticking my head out the window. 281 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:29,340 Yes, this is the best version of whatever's so enjoyable about this. 282 00:13:35,198 --> 00:13:36,564 Mom, I'm scared. 283 00:13:36,632 --> 00:13:39,333 I don't believe it. Are we really stuck in space? 284 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,548 Oh, God, what if we have to live up here for the rest of our lives? 285 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,267 I'm gonna miss drinking at The Clam. 286 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,601 I'll tell you what I won't miss. 287 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,575 That waiter who thinks he has to be funny. 288 00:13:47,644 --> 00:13:49,321 Yes, I'd like the chopped salad, please. 289 00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:50,956 And could I get no onions on that? 290 00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:53,781 Hmm. I've got a few connections in the back. 291 00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:55,149 I'll see what I can do. 292 00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:56,328 Yeah, that's funny. 293 00:13:56,352 --> 00:13:57,996 If there's one onion on that salad, 294 00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:00,871 you can forget the $1.80 tip you need to live. 295 00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:03,508 I'm sorry, you guys. This is all my fault. 296 00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:05,710 I never should've brought you on the space shuttle. 297 00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:08,296 You were right, I am stupid. 298 00:14:08,364 --> 00:14:10,614 Hello, up there. Hello? 299 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,761 I know you all must be pretty terrified right now, 300 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,363 but we're doing everything in our power 301 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:15,964 to get you safely back to Earth. 302 00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:18,134 We're pretty good at this. We're like six for eight. 303 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:19,757 Is there anything we can do? 304 00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:22,126 Well, fortunately, the ship runs on autopilot. 305 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,435 We just need some time to figure out your coordinates 306 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,042 and calculate the reentry plan. 307 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,599 So just try to stay calm and we'll figure this all out. 308 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:32,420 By the way, you're all quite famous now. You're on every news channel. 309 00:14:32,488 --> 00:14:34,065 Good afternoon, I'm Brian Williams. 310 00:14:34,089 --> 00:14:36,824 Our top story, an accidental space shuttle launch 311 00:14:36,892 --> 00:14:39,393 that has sent a Rhode Island family into orbit. 312 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,707 For more on the story, we go to our local affiliate, 313 00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:45,199 Channel Five Quahog, where Tom Tucker is on the scene. Tom? 314 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:46,400 Thanks, Brian. 315 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,736 I saw that you opened my birthday Evite. 316 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,004 Now I just need you to go ahead and reply. 317 00:14:51,073 --> 00:14:52,918 I'm standing here at the home of the Griffin family, 318 00:14:52,942 --> 00:14:54,441 chatting with their neighbors. 319 00:14:54,511 --> 00:14:57,077 So, the Griffins might be dead. How does that make you feel? 320 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,413 Griffin, dead? I take. 321 00:15:02,385 --> 00:15:05,452 No, no, they might be dead. They also might still be alive. 322 00:15:05,522 --> 00:15:07,287 Is okay, I take. 323 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:19,850 Peter, what are you doing? 324 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,430 I'm going out for a spacewalk, Lois. 325 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,032 You know, this is our one chance 326 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:26,540 to experience the awe-inspiring wonders of space firsthand. 327 00:15:30,946 --> 00:15:33,313 Wow, neat. 328 00:15:33,383 --> 00:15:35,249 So, this is space. 329 00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:43,491 Damn it. 330 00:15:48,497 --> 00:15:50,464 Ha! Stupid drunk bitches. 331 00:15:53,503 --> 00:15:56,236 Hey, Brian, check it out. Meg's poking around the cargo hold. 332 00:15:56,305 --> 00:15:58,185 I'm gonna give her a little scare. 333 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:12,270 Oh, boy, I think this space food has gone bad. 334 00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,216 Peter, that's a fecal collection bag. 335 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,806 Oh, there's a bag for that? 336 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:18,320 'Cause mine's over there twirling in the air like a slow baton. 337 00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:21,245 Well, someone's got to lead this marching band. Ew! 338 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,064 Griffins, come in. 339 00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:24,265 Yes! Yes, we're here. 340 00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:25,999 Well, I have some good news. 341 00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:28,569 The autopilot is capable of taking you home. 342 00:16:28,638 --> 00:16:29,898 But, guys... 343 00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,322 to engage, we're gonna... 344 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,511 to take the shuttle out of... 345 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:35,693 Hello? 346 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,845 Hello? Crap, I think we lost him. 347 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,313 Let me fix that. 348 00:16:39,382 --> 00:16:41,827 If radio deejays have taught me anything about radio, 349 00:16:41,851 --> 00:16:43,162 it's that you got to do two things. 350 00:16:43,186 --> 00:16:45,352 Turn it up and rip the knob off. 351 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,021 Peter, no! 352 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,023 Damn it, now we've lost communication entirely. 353 00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:50,257 What are we gonna do? 354 00:16:50,326 --> 00:16:51,954 I don't know, but we got to try something. 355 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,489 If we don't get this shuttle out of orbit soon, 356 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,224 we're gonna run out of oxygen and die. 357 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,441 Is failure an option? 358 00:16:56,465 --> 00:16:57,564 No, it's not. 359 00:16:57,633 --> 00:16:59,216 Aw. That was my suggestion. 360 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:00,996 All right, come on, everyone, we got to put our heads together 361 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,586 and try to find a solution. 362 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,333 Don't worry, Griffins have a long history of figuring stuff out. 363 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:08,317 Like my great-grandfather who invented the first marital aid. 364 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,114 This gives me an idea. 365 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,401 She's dead. 366 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,318 All right, come on, if Mission Control thought 367 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,387 we could help get the shuttle out of orbit, it can't be that hard. 368 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:25,976 Okay, okay, uh, try this. 369 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:29,480 Hit up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start. 370 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,826 Then we'll have unlimited lives. 371 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,594 Come on, we're running out of time. 372 00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,930 Oh, Meg, all your suicide threats over the years, 373 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,533 and you're just as chicken shit as the rest of us. 374 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,374 Hey, guys, I think I have an idea that could help us. 375 00:17:40,442 --> 00:17:42,922 In Space Camp, we learned about countering forward momentum 376 00:17:42,946 --> 00:17:44,512 with retro rockets. 377 00:17:44,581 --> 00:17:47,192 If we use them now, the ship might slow down enough 378 00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:50,050 for gravity to pull us out of orbit. 379 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,599 That's an egg that I hucked at you for being a nerd. 380 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:57,147 Chris, if you think it'll help, just try it! 381 00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:03,113 Oh, we're slowing down. That's a good sign. 382 00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,149 You know what's not slowing down? Breaking Bad. 383 00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:07,351 Haven't seen anything like it since The Wire. 384 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,386 God, he never shuts up about those shows. 385 00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,089 Oh, my God! I think it might be working! 386 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,526 We're spinning out! 387 00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:20,030 Oh, my God, we're gonna die! 388 00:18:20,082 --> 00:18:23,384 There's so many things I didn't do. I never got to go to college! 389 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,803 My book wasn't all I wanted it to be in spots! 390 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:28,305 Peter, I wanted to grow old with you! 391 00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:29,606 Well, you kind of did. 392 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,425 I never got to wear it better! 393 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,882 We have to reorient the 394 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,184 retro rockets to counter the spin rotation! 395 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,206 Chris, what are you doing? 396 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:03,975 Saving our lives. 397 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,654 Aw, I wish he hadn't said that. 398 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,878 Now I'm kind of rooting against him. 399 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,583 We're straightening out! 400 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,237 Look! It says "autopilot engaged." 401 00:19:16,306 --> 00:19:18,505 Good for him. I'm glad he found someone. 402 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,574 Oh, thank God, we're saved! 403 00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:23,822 I can't believe I got to go to space before Derek Watson. 404 00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:25,178 Who's Derek Watson? 405 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,531 Nobody now. 406 00:19:42,465 --> 00:19:44,298 They've re-entered the atmosphere! 407 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,236 I'm not cheering. I don't even know them. 408 00:20:16,499 --> 00:20:19,266 Well, thanks to no gravity in space my spine stretched, 409 00:20:19,335 --> 00:20:21,302 and I am now a confident 6'3", 410 00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:24,672 so, Lois, I will be leaving you for a hotter woman. 411 00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:27,057 Never mind, Lois, I love you so much. 412 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,664 Chris, our family is alive right now because of you. 413 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,282 You saved us. 414 00:20:35,351 --> 00:20:38,229 That's right, buddy. It was your brains that pulled us through. 415 00:20:38,253 --> 00:20:40,488 We're so sorry we ever doubted you. 416 00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:41,856 Thanks, you guys. 417 00:20:41,924 --> 00:20:43,190 You bet, champ. 418 00:20:43,258 --> 00:20:45,287 Hey, by the way, who moved our house?